Breaking Away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to flyI'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
Okay, so the red lines are me agreeing whole heartedly. I know that Brita used this at her open house, but I feel so AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Being in Fairview/Comins/Curran was SO easy. I fit in, I did everything, I was average at most things, I was involved. I lived in that town. I was a part of that community. Here-NO! Not at all. I know that I've told everybody this, but I'm going crazy with so little to do. My classes and homework can only take over so much of my life. It is 11:42 p.m. right here, but I'm not tired because I have not done enough today to make me tired. Two classes and lots of homework are not satisfying. I am going stir crazy currently (poor Katie as a witness)!! I don't want this day to end because it hasn't been worth it. I feel like I need to put more into every day. I've already wasted seven weeks here or something. I feel like I have accomplished nothing.
The worst part is that I don't know what I want to do to have a life. At home, I had my finger in just about every pie, but my finger was perfectly, evenly placed in each pie. I enjoyed alllllll of the pie so now that I'm here I don't know what to choose. I like it all and I don't have a specialty. Theatre? Music? Softball? CELCIS? Wesley? Something new? I want a passion that I can pursue. I want to have been with something all my life and just continue it in college. It's times like now that I wish I would have worked every summer at softball like I did the summer before last. I wish I would have kept up with dance or gymnastics or not quit cheerleading in 9th grade. I wish I would have latched onto something that I enjoyed and become great at it.
So now I am feeling like what would have been different in these past two months if I had just leapt with faith and let go of home more easily? I know that things would be very different. I'm not saying I regret it (it is definitely too soon for that and I don't want to regret things), but maybe I need to look forward and not so backward. Maybe I need to enjoy what I have here and put away what I did have. I still don't know where I'm going or what I can do to change that, but I do need to breakaway a little more. I need to visit home when I need to, but know that I have to be an individual before I can be a part of any one's community. I don't want to hurt anyone at home, but I need to start being Sydney. I need to become an individual and find some stuff out on my own.
On another note, I am preparing to head home this weekend for un fin de semana de picnics, home food, chiropractor, road trip!, concert, pumpkin carving, cider and donuts and movies among other things. I am excited to be home, but not in this moment. I am ready to DO something. I'm not tired because I've done so much homework today, but it may also be because of that silly Hot Cocoa Social we had at 9:30 tonight. Brilliance!
I do have 2 midterms before I head home. I don't know if I'm upset or glad that they are my two worst classes. I do not like Global and International Studies (more on major change in a bit) at all anymore. Actually, I don't remember ever actually enjoying it, but we have a major mid term/scary test on Thursday just before I head to Spring Arbor. I also have my Chinese oral mid term on Wednesday afternoon. I don't mind my Chinese class. It's boring and I don't have the burning passion for it like I do for Spanish, but I'll continue because it's pretty vital. I just have to study the flashcards more and get better acquainted with the vocabulary. Putting sentences together is pretty simple and there is hardly any grammar.
I realized that I haven't posted since I saw my advisor so here is my official update. I went to a walk in advising session and they squeezed me in. It was brief (despite my numerous questions), but to the point. She told me that the best thing to do if I want to translate and interpret is just to concentrate on my languages. When I asked about picking up another language, she encouraged me to double major with it. We talked about whether or not it would be overwhelming, but I think it will work out. I thought about majoring in cultural anthropology, but it became very restrictive. I had to take a lot of electives that were very focused on anthropology. By just minoring in it, I am able to take a lot broader range of classes to complete my majors/minors. I'm pretty much building my own education. It's like a "Build-A-Major" like Build-A-Bear!!
So, my final conclusion the education I am receiving at Western Michigan University:
Double major: Spanish & German
So, my final conclusion the education I am receiving at Western Michigan University:
Double major: Spanish & German
Double minor: Chinese & Cultural Anthropology
Spanish-because I LOVE it and it's extremely marketable and I LOVE it
German-marketable? yes, but also like learning Latin...once I get German down, if ever I need to branch to a Germanic based language, it shouldn't take very long
Chinese-marketable! only a minor is currently offered, but I'll still be able to get in lots of classes
Cultural Anthropology-I have to know how people who speak these languages live, act, what the believe and their culture, obviously. Plus, it gives me the chance to take sweet-o classes!
Sorry this is so scatterbrained. I am thinking the hot chocolate has ramped me up. Please excuse my dear aunt Sally. Actually, please just excuse my whizzing mind. Haha, don't worry, it's whizzing like a Snitch, not otherwise!
Anyway, I'll leave you to this and try to find a quote for Ira.
<3
P.S. This was made a while ago, I'm just now posting.
P.S. This was made a while ago, I'm just now posting.
posted by Sydda @ 7:06 PM
2 Comments:
Hey, Syd, thanks for sharing! I think I understand your frustration, eagerness, and hunger - but not for the hot cocoa - skip that after 6 pm and do your body a huge favor - :)
Frustration that you aren't moving as fast as you know you can - eagerness to embrace & experience more at the university - and hunger to know more, participate in more and be more.
It's all good - uncomfortable, at times, but good.
Allow me to "rein" you in, just a little?
Remember when you and Annie and I went riding with Uncle Rick through all that brush and trees
that day - I know you do! :)
Remember how the horses wanted to go faster than
it was possible to go in the territory that we were in? Remember how we had to hold them in, "rein" them in to slow them down, make them
be more aware of the terrain, of their riders, and of the "direction" we were going - specifically, being prepared to travel in the direction of the "ride". And, remember how they
didn't want to slow down, didn't want to watch where they were putting their hooves, weren't interested in being mindful of their riders, and
if they had their way, would have turned around and gone back? In other words, they weren't mindful of the "journey". Do you see where I'm going with this?
It's always more difficult to go from what we know well, what we do well to the unknown - and worse, if the unknown is slow or tedious, and we
want more ---- now.
There is never, ever a wasted moment, sweet girl - no coincidences, no failures - only steps in the journey - "courses" in "God 101" here in
Earth School.
You're coming off from high speed "internet" living to "dial-up", and there are reasons, good
reasons, to allow it to happen, accept and learn
another way, even if you can't "see" the reason
for being "reined in".
This, too , will pass.
I love you!
Grammie
I agree with Grammie.
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